Kara: We should open a donut shop.
Lisa: Yes! Here! People would love that. Like, “shit, it’s so-and-so’s birthday, I totes forgot. I’ll go down and get some donuts”.
Kara: Yeah! We can call it 2 Girls 2 Holes 2 Donuts.
Lisa: Uh, Kar…
Dr.: Kara, you’re back…
Kara: Yes. My ear hurts again. I think it’s another infection. I think I need antibiotics.
Dr.: Are you a doctor?
Kara: No.
Dr.: Ok, let me look in your ear. Oh…well, see – that’s the problem.
Kara: What? An infection? I TOLD you.
Dr.: No. Wax.
Kara: EW.
Fake Mom: I wanted to see SALT but now I don’t.
Kara: I don’t either. I’m against Angelina Jolie.
Fake Mom: Me too, now that I heard about her giving an invitation to her premiere to that spy!
Kara: What???
Fake Mom: I mean – why doesn’t she just go live in another country!
Kara: WHAT??? What are you talking about????????
Fake Mom: Well, I don’t know – but I heard something and it didn’t sound good!
Amy: This is an EMERGENCY!!!!!! Get over here NOW. My Facebook is stuck in Pirate Mode!
Grandma: you’re engaged now – right?
Kara: No.
Grandma: but, you have a boyfriend. for a long time – right?
Kara: No.
Grandma: What’s wrong with your eye?
Kara: How many times are we going to have this oh-so-pleasant conversation, Grandma?
Grandma: I don’t know……..where is your engagement ring?
Kara: <sigh>
Kyle: Let me tell you how this day started – by me stepping on a scale (I really don”t ever do that) and finding out I weigh….
300 POUNDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So I have an aneurysm and get off – and i know this cannot be true – I KNOW it is not right.
Kara: It can’t be!
Kyle: So I try it again…..300 pounds!!!!!!!!!!
Kyle: so I say to myself – Self, maybe you should not do this on the carpet.
Kara: OHHHHHHH
Kyle: Yes. So I moved it to the kitchen floor and all was well!